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SkipBurns.com
Saturday, June 21, 2003





Democratic Party Math 101

+ Iraq needs a government
+ the Republicans and the oil hungry Administration have all the answers and want to run the show
+ the United States has a government the Democrats would like to get rid of
+ our army in Iraq would like to come home
= Send the Administration and Republican Congress to Iraq to play in their oil fields, let the Democrats run this country, bring the army home, let the Iraqi's build a statue of George Bush and make everyone happy.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:17 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, June 22, 2003 10:03 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, June 18, 2003




Seems the Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD's) that no one can find won't go away. The President knows they are not missing, he just can't find them. Personally I think missing Vice President Cheny is out looking for them. (It takes someone who knows how to be missing to find something that is missing). While he's at it he might hunt up Saddam and his boys, Osama and company and the Iraqi and Afghan governments we created. They seem to be missing too.

After all, Dick was the first to tell us the WMD's were there, back when he wasn't missing. Of course now the problem is, if we can't find Dick how will we know what he's found?

We will have to send someone to find him. But who? UN weapons inspectors? They couldn't find the WMD's that exist to begin with. The US Army? Been there, done that, wondering why they are still there. Congress? They can't afford not to believe the WMD's exist. Remember that's why they sent our army to Iraq. Politically they can't afford to find Dick until he finds the weapons.

I believe we should send Geraldo. At least he can find the army and draw maps and Fox News will be the first to tell you they have found the WMD's hidden in a bunker in Nevada. Clever people those Iraqi's.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:59 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, June 22, 2003 10:07 AM EDT



Well somewhere about now the summer solstice is upon us. That's the longest day of the year and the first day of Summer for the rest of the country. In the Northeast it's the beginning of the warmer half of Spring even though we call it Summer. Tradition has it that you will not see snow, sleet or frost from this point till September, but don't count on it. It was not that long ago according to the scientists that this area was sitting under a glacier. So be vigilant, plant crops, look over your shoulder and if you see something big and white moving down from Canada it might be a good time to take that Florida vacation you've been talking about. Might want to check first and make sure they're not sending up one of their spare hurricanes North to greet you.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:03 AM EDT
Updated: Saturday, June 28, 2003 7:51 AM EDT




One for the record books here in the Northeast. Three days without rain. But not to worry. It starts again today which is probably a good thing. I was starting to worry about those poor souls I've seen standing around the past three days staring at that big orange thing in the sky trying to figure out what it is. Some careless extroverts have taken to going outside without a raincoat and throwing all caution aside I've seen mentally challenged businessmen parading about in their suits without an umbrella. The young and truly reckless have even taken to shedding most of their clothing as if to challenge the gods of weather not to bring snow. They might be safe from snowflakes, though history says otherwise, but by next week they can probably add hail and lightning to their vocabulary.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:53 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, June 22, 2003 10:14 AM EDT



* Sorry. Tuesdays posting's a day late. Internet glitch which I tried to fix. Where would we be without technology? Probably saner.


According to one of the cable tv news analyst the economists are telling us the deficit is going up again but not to worry because according to him most economists say it has nothing to do with the economy. That's the way of it today . We get news experts who are paid to not agree on anything quoting economists who have never agreed on anything and passing it off to a public that rarely agrees on anything and then wonder why most people find the news and economics disagreeable.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:50 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, June 22, 2003 10:16 AM EDT
Monday, June 16, 2003




If anyone ever wondered what the difference is between the British and the Americans the latest traffic event in England makes the point. Seems Prince Willian drove his VW across some English Lord's estate and exceeded a twenty mile per hour speed limit. Claims were he was going between 30 and 40 mph! And so was the police car that was escorting him. The Lord nearly had the big one over it and tried to pull the Prince over. It's in the headlines in Britain and made the papers in the U.S. Prince Charles has apologized for the incident.

We don't have Lords in the United States. The Constitution forbids it. We do have pompous Bozos. We call them "pompous Bozos" and ignore them accordingly. If they become too pompous we elect them to Congress where they are out of the way and can't do any harm.

So the Prince, he could come over here and drive his VW just about anywhere but Washington without fear of anyone "Lording it over him". His only problem here would be roadkill from the women throwing themselves on the hood of his car in hopes of becoming a princess.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:55 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, June 18, 2003 8:57 AM EDT




If anyone ever wondered what the difference is between the British and the Americans the latest traffic event in England makes the point. Seems Prince Willian drove his VW across some English Lord's estate and exceeded a twenty mile per hour speed limit. Claims were he was going between 30 and 40 mph! And so was the police car that was escorting him. The Lord nearly had the big one over it and tried to pull the Prince over. It's in the headlines in Britain and made the papers in the U.S. Prince Charles has apologized for the incident.

We don't have Lords in the United States. The Constitution forbids it. We do have pompous asses. We call them "pompous asses" and ignore them accordingly. If they become too pompous we elect them to Congress where they are out of the way and can't do any harm.

So the Prince, he could come over here and drive his VW just about anywhere but Washington without fear of anyone "Lording it over him". His only problem here would be roadkill from the women throwing themselves on the hood of his car in hopes of becoming a princess.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:52 AM EDT




If anyone ever wondered what the difference is between the British and the Americans the latest traffic event in England makes the point. Seems Prince Willian drove his VW across some English Lord's estate and exceeded a twenty mile per hour speed limit. Claims were he was going between 30 and 40 mph! And so was the police car that was escorting him. The Lord nearly had the big one over it and tried to pull the Prince over. It's in the headlines in Britain and made the papers in the U.S. Prince Charles has apologized for the incident.

We don't have Lords in the United States. The Constitution forbids it. We do have pompous asses. We call them "pompous asses" and ignore them accordingly. If they become too pompous we elect them to Congress where they are out of the way and can't do any harm.

So the Prince, he could come over here and drive his VW just about anywhere but Washington without fear of anyone "Lording it over him". His only problem here would be roadkill from the women throwing themselves on the hood of his car in hopes of becoming a princess.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:25 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, June 16, 2003 9:37 AM EDT
Friday, June 13, 2003




JOB POSTING

HELP WANTED. Residents of the State of New York are looking for qualified applicants for governor and state legislature. Must be able to add or use a calculator, get things done in a timely manner and be responsible for their actions. Excellent salary, fringe benefits and perks. Previous experience not acceptable.

Identifying characteristics of the job: Cannot get budgets in on time for 20 years costing state taxpayers millions in interest and school budget delays. Create, expand and mandate statewide programs and send the bill to local governments to pay. Limit collection resources available to local municipalities to pay for new mandated services such as increasing sales tax because it is called STATE sales tax and might shift blame from locals to the state. Ignore local government requests to limit mandates and put the locals in their place by expanding programs further when they complain too loudly. Take Federal Aid targeted for county and local municipality relief and keep it to yourself to cover the financial disasters you have created thereby forcing local governments to raise local and school property taxes at astronomical rates year after year and take the heat for your decisions. Notify localities to stop paying into their employees state retirement system so that three years later you can send them a bill for triple the original payment to keep them off balance and in trouble with their own employees. And always smile and say it's all those other guys in Albany that are to blame.

Reason for job posting?

Present candidates are too good at their job.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:06 AM EDT
Thursday, June 12, 2003

It appears the President's "Pathway to Peace " in the Holy Land has turned into the "Highway to Hell" just days after he paved the road. The Jews bomb the Palestinians. The Palestinians bomb the Jews . And everybody points fingers saying "that Devil (Jew or Palestinian, take your pick) made me do it". Retaliation seems to be the road everyone is traveling. They've already shown they don't want to live together democratically for a variety of reasons and the President says the Jews and the Palestinians should both have their own country, which I guess makes as much sense as anything else I've heard but the question is "where to put it" because unfortunately they both want the same piece of God-forsaken real estate to themselves. In case you haven't looked at the property, there isn't a maple tree or river deep enough to drown a cat in within the whole infernal country which by the way isn't much bigger than a good sized upstate New York county. It's what a good farmer here would call worthless hard-scrabble land not quite good enough for goats. And the President for his part hasn't offered up any alternatives, like maybe Texas (not that they would take it). So until he comes up with a better plan the solution seems to be bigger guns, bigger bombs and bigger failures.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 10:12 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, June 13, 2003 9:16 AM EDT

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