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SkipBurns.com
Sunday, July 11, 2004



The administration is talking about postphoning the November 2nd election if there is a terrorist attack in the United States come election time. Most people don't agree, at least the ones who aren't voting for the President don't like it.

The way they got it figured, the Republicans have got another ace up their sleeve to put Bush back in. They're not sure what it is, and they haven't quite figured out how they're going to do it but they know it's there and this whole election re-scheduling looks mighty suspicious.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with thinking about the idea. In fact I wish they'd have postphoned the last election for about four years, not that I was crazy about Bill Clinton either, but in his case the only person he seemed to damage on a regular basis was himself.

In any event, I see this as a winner all around. It will give the Democratic conspiracy theorist something more to theorize about, it will give the Republican administration something more to plot about, it will give the voters something more to be mad about and give the media something more to scandalize about which ought to make just about everybody stirred-up happy by keeping everyone mad.

Isn't that what our elections are all about anyway?



Posted by donburnshomepage at 11:33 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, July 13, 2004 2:02 AM EDT
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Saturday, July 10, 2004



The bi-partisan Senate Committee looking into how we got into the war in Iraq just returned with it's report. The report says the "intelligence was flawed".

The President immediately defended his intelligence by insulting ours in stating "we removed a declared enemy of America with the capability of producing Weapons of Mass Destruction".


The Bush Corollary to the Roosevelt Corollary to the Monroe Doctrine now states:

1. Any country who has oil and may or may not have had hijackers or may or may not have been a point of origin for said hijackers, and said country having the brains to put Clorox in a spray bottle and the capability of pulling the trigger, is hereby subject to invasion and appointive democratization by the democratically appointed government of the United States.

I suspect they are calling up the Home Guard in Canada.




Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:32 AM EDT
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Friday, July 9, 2004



The bloom is starting to come off the rose.

We went to Afghanistan to find Osama bin Laden. We are still looking. We went to Iraq to find WMD's. We are still looking.

Now the Pentagon can't find enough soldiers to send either place. Seems they only made a limited number and really never thought anybody would be crazy enough to send them somewhere, let alone TWO somewheres. So they're recycling 'em over and over and hoping the war ends before the troops do.

Then there is the latest Pentagon oversight. Seems the insurgency in Iraq is not foriegn led after all. It's Iraqi Sunnis who don't like us, want their power back and are four times as numerous as we thought. Oh, and the Pentagon doesn't think we can beat them militarily either.

Meanwhile the new democratically appointed government in Saigon (whoops, sorry, I meant to say Baghdad) is going to try and pacify the countryside.

I think it's time for the President to update his reading material to something a little weightier than "The Little Engine That Could".

Posted by donburnshomepage at 9:28 AM EDT
Updated: Saturday, July 10, 2004 7:34 AM EDT
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Thursday, July 8, 2004



Former Senator Al D'Amato from here in New York is making noise again. This time he wants the Republican ticket to dump Dick Cheney.

Don't know what he could be thinking of. Without Dick what will the President think? How will the President think? What will Halliburton think? What will Halliburton think of the President?

I think we need to take a pass on this one. After all, without Dick on the ticket the underpinings of all the conspiracy theorist lose credibility. Without Dick on the ticket the President could actually be in charge. Without Dick on the ticket, the Democrats might lose. Without Dick on the ticket, the Republicans might win. Let's stick with Dick.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:38 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, July 8, 2004 10:59 PM EDT
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Wednesday, July 7, 2004

Called that one wrong! Figured it would take a week before the Republicans would tee off on Democratic VP candidate John Edwards. The cameras hadn't stopped rolling before the first shot was fired.

The White House first responded by calling Edwards a "disengenuous, unaccomplished liberal". When asked for a comment the President wisely chose not to try and pronounce it.

The White House quickly moved on to Plan B and charged that with only six years in the Senate Edwards didn't have the experience to be President, until someone pointed out that President Bush had only six years as Governor of Texas when he became President and after three and a half years in office he still can't do the job.

By nightfall they had already gone to Plan C. "Just because he talks like a Southerner doesn't mean he thinks like one". The response to that was at least he can think.

At this rate we are going through plans and alphabets faster than we did excuses for the war in Iraq. By the weekend we could be all the way to to Plan X where they plan to draft him into the army.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 8:52 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, July 7, 2004 9:09 AM EDT
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Tuesday, July 6, 2004



Senator Kerry has picked his running mate. It's another Senator, in this case John Edwards from South Carolina and unlike the other team he didn't get to pick himself.

Democrats seem to be happy, Independents are not troubled by it and the Republican faithful seem nervous but say it's OK which in turn makes everyone else nervous.........

That's because they haven't had time to scrounge his record and dig up some dirt. In about a week the farming will begin in earnest. Then we'll know all his blunders, faults and mistakes first hand, even some of the ones he didn't make but could have.

'Course the Democrats already been doing it to the Bushes and Cheneys for months so now it's the other teams turn in the barrel.

Then come November, we'll go into the voting booth, hold our nose and vote for the least repugnant of the two and go home to see what new twist they've come up with to win this time.

Posted by donburnshomepage at 2:57 PM EDT
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Monday, July 5, 2004



Vacation's here. The Fourth has come and gone and the dog days of summer seem to be upon us. Time to kick back with a lemonade, smell the flowers and ponder the fate of the world.

Well, maybe we should skip the fate of the world stuff. Everytime somebody thinks they got it all figured out, the world outmarts 'em by doing something different.

I did see where they are going to build the tallest skyscaper in the world in NYC to replace the Twin Towers. Some sort of an ego thing I guess. Most people I talk to seem to think it will just make for a taller target next time around.

That sort of gets us back to that fate of the world thing again. After all, I suppose the naysayers could be wrong. There may even be people who will be willing to rent space in it on the ground floor. I'm not one of them, but there may be.

My take is it will be New York's version of the Washington Monument. A hollow steeple with an entrance, an elevator, a stray tourist or two going up for the view and a Fox News crew to interview them for their commitment to freedom and democracy.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:18 PM EDT
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Monday, June 28, 2004

Surprise! Surprise! Our appointed government in the United States turned over the government of Iraq to its appointees this morning a full two days ahead of schedule.

Not a bad idea. Gives us two more days before our election that we can say about Iraq, "we're not occupiers, the appointees did it".

Of course when we say that here in the US about our own government it's kind of important to note that the occupiers sort of appointed themselves. Which is why they don't particularly like us to say it here.

That occupier/appointee rule is only true there, not here, according to our chief occupier/appointee. And to think otherwise would not only be undemocratic, above all else it would be un-Republican.

So don't think. Don't worry. Don't bother your head another minute. Let the President do it for you. It's the patriotic thing to do.

See..........Makes you feel better already doesn't it.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 12:10 PM EDT
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Thursday, June 24, 2004



Cheers to the Supreme Court. They have come to the rescue again. Having elected the administration by one vote you have now have saved it by a vote.

Thank Heavens you have ruled that Dick Cheney will not have to turn over his records on his policy meetings with oil financiers that drafted the nation's energy policy. At least not till after the election.

I for one couldn't be more thankful that you, the US Supreme Court have taken it upon yourselves to protect me from knowing anything, understanding anything or finding out anything. Otherwise if it weren't for you I'd probably have to go through the work of doing something about what I knew, understood or found out. Thanks guys.

While your at it, it would be nice too if you'd let me know who you are going to elect to the White House next time so's I could avoid the time and effort of wasting my vote on the wrong horse. Thanks again...........Don


Posted by donburnshomepage at 3:27 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, June 24, 2004 3:31 PM EDT
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004



Castro is at it again. This time he has warned President Bush not to invade Cuba. Apparently he is getting a case of the jitters, what with our troops in Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea and everywhere else on the globe.

I can personally assure him that President Bush will not willingly invade Cuba. I can do this for three very good reasons.

One, Cuba doesn't have any oil.
Two, we don't have any money (having spent it on all those other success stories).
And number three, and most important........ we don't have anybody left to send except for the President and his cabinet. And, if they were told they were going, collectively I don't think they would find Cuba if it was in New York Harbor let alone the Carribean.

So, rest easy Fidel. We ain't coming cause we can't.


Posted by donburnshomepage at 7:43 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, June 22, 2004 7:44 AM EDT
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